In Memorium…

Happy Memorial Day.

We should all spend this holiday thinking about the men and women who have served and are serving our country.

As we Americans like to take all that is sacred and holy, especially holidays, add a little commercialization and a lot of beer-drinking time, I’ve come up with a list of the meaningful traditions and the more spectacular oddities I’ve noticed Amercians incorporate into their Memorial Day celebrations.

Meaningful Tradition 1: Flags & Flowers. My grandmother was adamant about adorning our deceased relatives’ gravies with flowers on Memorial Day. Of course, the relatives who served received flags too. It was always moving to me, even as a kid, to see the cemeteries decked out with flags and flowers, and to feel all the positive energy emanating from so many people thinking about those who had passed before them.

Meaningful Tradition 2: National Ceremonies. Always moving to see the President place a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknowns and then to hear Taps played. Definitely a cause for pause.

Meaningful Tradition 3: “Buddy Poppies.” In the small town I grew up in, a Vietnam Vet named Gilbert Strom always sold those Buddy Poppies on Memorial and Veterans Day in front of the lone market in our withering town. Gilbert passed this year, and it’s a notable loss this Memorial Day that no one is in front of the market, donning a Veteran’s cap, selling those little fabric poppies.

Meaningful Tradition 4: DC National Memorial Day Parade. In fact, going to DC on Memorial Day would be an amazing experience. Checking out the parade would be equally significant.

Meaningful Tradition 5: Telling a Soldier or Vet “Thanks.” This is something none of us do enough, yet it’s so simple. Just tell ‘em “thanks,” for making the ultimate sacrifice.

Spectacular Oddity 1: Camping Trips. Congress ruins everything. In 1971, they made Memorial Day an official three-day holiday. Which, in all honesty, kicks ass. But it also left the original meaning of Memorial Day at the office. So, to “honor those who’ve served,” Americans from sea-to-sea find it meaningful to load up their entire households, buy-out the grocery store, drive to a less-remote location, and site around a campfire for a weekend. I could see how this would correlate to honoring service men/women if these campers were playing war games in the wilderness or something. But the reality is, they’re just capitalizing on the 3-day weekend to get the hell away.

Spectacular Oddity 2: Camp Trailers. This goes hand-in-hand with the camping trips and is a fascinating study in and of itself. People don’t simply pack a tent, some tarps, sleeping bags and camp chairs anymore. Everyone has these massive camp trailers that have more square footage than any apartment I’ve ever lived in.

Moreover, they’re loaded with every electric device that a regular house has. Some of them even have built-in garages for things like motorbikes and four-wheelers. Which makes sense: why would you want to drive all the way out to the wilderness just to walk around?

These camp trailers are essentially portable houses, and said owners seem to load them up with a grocery supply that could feed a small army….so maybe it does honor the day. But camp grounds turn from peaceful wilderness spots into portable trailer parks. A spectacular study, indeed.

Spectacular Oddity 3: Beer. Lots and lots of beer. I mean, I’m a fan of imbibing on a holiday. But it is hard for me to keep up on these 3-day binges that people seem to take on as challenges on holiday weekends like Memorial Day. The liver is apparently never so punished as it is on Memorial Day weekend. 

Spectacular Oddity 4: Sunburns. Especially in the Northwest where I grew up, it seems like Memorial Day weekend causes pasty people to forget that third-degree sunburns hurt, a lot, especially when the buzz wears off and the skin starts blistering. It’s like the ultimate way for hard-core Memorial Day celebrators to ring in summer is with a badass sun burn. “My skin is so gonna peel.”

Spectacular Oddity 5: Memorial Day Retail Sales. I thought stores were supposed to be closed on holidays?

Yet, the day is another opportunity for retailers from car lots to department stores to offer their already marked-up products at barely marked-down prices. “Let’s go shopping!”

Happy Memorial Day, kids! Thanks to those men and women who serve our country and protect our freedoms.